I recently was on Facebook and a family member posted a picture of the saying, “No Expectations, No Disappointments.” Yep, you are guessing right if you think that this spoke to me and here is why.
I am the type of person who holds others and life experiences to very high, maybe even unrealistic standards. This past week I have learned that maybe this is not a good thing. I started to think about how I have been let down and had the feeling of disappointment and it is my fault. Why was it my fault…well I will tell you.
When holidays or specials dates such as anniversaries come around I start to build these elaborate plans in my head of things that my husband and I should do. For example, he might surprise me and hire a sitter for the evening. He might take me to a romantic dinner at our favorite restaurant. We will spend the evening laughing, holding hands and kissing. We will come home to a quiet house and finish our evening at home with a cocktail and great conversation.
Then, when the events or day arrives I except for things to be magical. However, instead of these things he has not planned dinner or special time. He brings you beautiful flowers instead and you go out with the kids and as a family you have dinner. The flowers were wonderful but the kids throw a fit about food for the millionth time. By the time you get home, you are exhausted from wrestling children to get them to stay seated, your ears hurt from the loud restaurant, and you have food all over your shirt because your toddler split his spaghetti on you. You cannot help it but the disappointment is all over your face. This happens because your “expectation” of the perfect evening has been crumbled up, spit on, stomped on, and thrown in the trash. So, your husband might be angry at you for not enjoying yourself, he may feel like he failed and this will cause him stress, or he will just be annoyed that again you “were not happy.”
If you would have gone into the evening without such high expectations then the dinner might have looked and felt differently….
The kids do not want to eat, but that is normal and no big deal because you know they will eat when they are hungry enough. They do not want to sit in their seat, but they love you and want to sit on your lap. You will get to talk to your husband when you get home, just enjoy your kids being little. They will grow up too fast and you will miss this. The restaurant is loud but all restaurants that welcome kids are loud, because their are kids there. Just be thankful these places exist and get over it. Your son, who is sitting on your lap, dumps his spaghetti all over your shirt. Well, he was not going to eat it anyway. That just means there will be fewer leftovers to eat later and isn’t this why stain remover was invented.
You see…I have noticed that life is all about your perception and expectations. If I go into life expecting things to go a certain way I will be disappointed because nothing ever happens that exact way you expect it to. Sometimes plans fail, sometimes things happen that are horrible, sometimes thing are even better than you could have ever imagined. Instead of focusing on what did not happen, look at what did and find the beauty of life in that moment. A positive attitude can make a positive attitude will go far in life and make you much happier. Who wants to live in disappointment…not me!