November is a big month for my family. We all have birthdays 12 days apart from each other. This is crazy! It seems like the month of November is just one big party for us…and a lot of cake. However, as much fun as we have it is also an emotional time for me. Why? Well let me explain…
God blessed us by allowing us to be the parents of two turkeys that I love very much. These little girls bring us so much love and joy. Being a mommy has been the greatest and most challenging blessing in my life. I sit and watch these two little girls play and I am in awe of how amazing they are. These are the easy moments. We go on day-to-day and I totally forget about the fact that they are adopted. It does not even enter my thoughts. They are our girls and world. They act just like us. Turkey one is all girl just like her mommy. She is kind, creative, knows what she wants, and loves with her whole heart…just like her mommy. Turkey two is a jokester, easy-going and has a little temper…just like her daddy. They are us…so why would I even think about them being adopted….
However, when their birthdays come around I think about the day they were born. I think about the call that their birth moms’ were in labor, I remember the long drive to the hospital (8 hours), I recall meeting the families of the birth mom, I remember the fear that I felt, I remember praying nonstop, I remember laying eyes on my babies for the first time, I remember watching them through the nursery glass and crying like a baby, I remember it all just like it was yesterday.
Birthdays also always remind me of the sacrifice that two women made that allowed me to be a mother. Two women carried my girls for 40 weeks. They felt my babies move in their bellies. Turkey one had a lot of hiccups that kept her birth mom awake. Turkey two gave her birth mom horrible heart burn and indigestion. These birth mom’s gained baby weight, got stretch marks, had cravings, endured sleepless nights, and swelling feet. They probably had morning sickness and back pain. They felt labor pains and went through childbirth. Two women did all of this for two little ladies that they love so much. After the delivery, they went home broken and sad. Their bodies were a constant reminder of what had just happened and I know their hearts ached. I cannot imagine how they felt…
I often wonder what November brings to these women. Do they replay the events in their minds? Do they think about the drive to the hospital, the labor pains, how they felt when they met us for the first time, how they felt when they saw the girls for the first time? Do they think about how sad they were or how happy they were? Do they try to skip this month every year or do they sit and look at pictures and take in the moments? I do not know the answer to these questions.
I have so many emotions and thoughts this time of year. I cannot put into words how I feel. I have tried so many times and fail. There is a side of me that does not want to share my children with their birth family. They are my girls. I am their mom. We are a family. Then there is a part of me that feels so guilty for feeling this way. I have a need to share my girls with their birth family because I am so grateful for their sacrifice and I want to honor them. I know that there are two women out there that love my girls just as much as I do and that is a challenging feeling.
So my prayer for these two women is that they have peace in their hearts. To know that we love our babies so much and do whatever we can for them. I pray that they know just how grateful we are for our children. I pray that they know how grateful we are for them (the birth moms).