When a disaster happens in the world you tend to remember where you were when you heard about it. Maybe you even remember what you were wearing and who you were with. Like most Americans I remember where I was when the Twin Towers were attacked. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I can recall the looks on people’s faces as I walked to my door room. It was a scary day and a day that I hope to never repeat in my life. I know that making a parallel between this day and the day I would out my husband might be infertile is stretching it a little. However, I will never forget many things about this day as I will never forget 9/11/01.
I do not want to jump too far ahead so let me start with the beginning. When I was 27, we decided that it was time to try to start having a family. Right before I turned 28, we were not pregnant so we decided to go to the doctor to check things out. The doctor did the standard procedure. She took my blood work, did a regular exam, and told my husband that he should be checked first because his part was the easiest.
Without any thought we went on with our day-to-day routines throughout the rest of the week. We never gave the results much thought because we really did not think anything was wrong. Then the weekend came. The results had to be in by now.
It was a typical Saturday, so we thought, we woke up and went on with our daily routine. Around the middle of the day, my husband decided to check the results on the computer and he entered the computer room. The computer room was connected to the living room, so he walked right past me and I knew what he was going to check. I was in the living room watching TV and was sitting under my favorite blanket on the couch. My dog was lying at my feet and I could not have been more comfortable. We were both still in our lounge clothes. Charles had on a yellow shirt that he had owned since middle school. It was almost see through at this point from all of washing over the years. It is one of his favorite shirts and honestly one of my least favorite. He entered the living room from the computer room after about 10 minutes or so. He looked at me, puffed out his cheeks and started to rub his fingers through this already messy hair. This was my first clue that something was not right. I did not respond because I know my husband and he needed to tell me on his own time. He walked over gave me a kiss on the check and then laid down on the couch with me.
About ten minutes had passed when he started to talk. He did not look at me. He just laid their staring at the TV. I do not remember what was on. I just remember that I was not really watching at this point. We were both staring at the TV trying to act like nothing had to be said. He starting rubbing his head again and said, “(insert my name) there was nothing in the sample. It means that I may be sterile.”
I sat there trying very hard to think of what to say next. I really had no idea what to say. After a few minutes I asked him, “What are our next steps?”
He sat up, looked at me in the face with total fear in his eyes and said, “I have no idea. I will call the doctor on Monday.”
He sat there in silence. Both of us had no idea what to do next. Finally he stood up and said, “Well we need to tile our bathroom. We have all the stuff. Want to go help me?”
This is what we did for the rest of the day. We did not speak about the rest results anymore that day. I did not tell anyone. The tiling in the bathroom was completed that day and I have to say that it looked pretty good for two amateurs who had a lot of other “things” on their minds.