911: What is your emergency?
Me: I am exhausted
911: I am sorry, but I do not understand
Me: I have two toddlers and one was up all night. The other is full of energy and wants me to play. I am down to my last bit of coffee and the milk is all gone.
911: We will be right there…how do you take your coffee?
Whatever happened to rock-n-roll all night and party every day? Oh yeah, you turned 30. I just cannot stay up like I used to and when I do it is not pretty!!!!!! (YES, there is a need for the excessive exclamation points.)
Last night my 20 month old daughter decided that she did not want to sleep. We put her to be at 9. As soon as I lay down, around 11, she comes in our room and is wide awake. I try to get her to sleep in my bed and the next thing I know I have a foot in my face and she thinks it is funny to try to put it in my mouth. Gross! Toe jam as a middle of the night snack.
I rocked her, I walked her around the house, I put her to bed and held her hand, and I laid in the floor next to her. I did everything but give her Benadryl. I have to say that on nights like this, I am not above that.
As the sun started to rise, I heard her start to breathe deeply, she slowly let go of my hand, and she was out. About an hour later she woke up wanted my hand…oh child…my arm just woke up and I now have feeling in it. Not again.
I pick her up and take her into my room. My husband is getting ready for work. As soon as I get her back to sleep, my 2.75 year old wakes up. OH NO!!!! It is only 6:30 girl!!! My husband gets her out of bed and puts her in bed with me and my baby. He gives us a kiss and runs out the door for work. SMART MAN! Toddler 2 (my 2.75 year old) watches Disney for a little while and toddler 1 (my 20 month old) is asleep on my chest. Every once in a while Toddler 2 comes over and pulls my eyelids up. “Are you awake mommy? I need something to drink!”
We go downstairs to make breakfast. I am changing toddler 1’s diaper and toddler 2 starts to scream from the bathroom, “Mommy I am stuck!” Stuck on the potty, how did that happen? I finish up changing the diaper (I thought) and set my daughter down. I turn my back and she starts to cry. I look at her and pee is running down her leg. Oh man, I just put her PJ bottoms on her. I forgot the diaper. CRAP!
I put a diaper on her and go help my screaming daughter in the bathroom. Somehow she slipped into the toilet and there is wet toilet paper and pee water all over the floor. CRAP AGAIN! WHERE IS MY COFFEE? I NEED COFFEE!
For breakfast they get toast with peanut butter. I know they will eat it and it is easy. Do not judge! The coffee finally hits my lips and toddler 1 asks for more milk. No problem. I open the refrigerator and it is all gone. WHAT!!! Oh husband of mine…stop drinking the kids’ milk!!! I go upstairs in the beer fridge to get more milk…empty! NOOOOOOOO! Toddler 2 brings me a princess doll. “Will you play dolls with me mom?” she asks as I spill my last coffee down the front of my nightgown.
Now to get two kids dressed and to go to the grocery store before 8am. Will return and play dolls until lunch time. I can do this, I can do this (the pep talk going on in my head as I yawn so big my face disappears). I will do that later, but for right now you will find me in the corner crying for my mommy!!!