Does this snot make my butt look big?

Sniff, wipe nose with arm…

Sniff, wipe nose with mom’s hair…

Sniff, wipe nose on couch…

Sniff, wipe nose on mom’s leg…

You get the point and you know that you have been there. Cold season is the worst time of year. I dread it every year and so does my couch. With two toddlers who have a snotty nose the world becomes their tissue. I have tried to teach my children to use tissues, but let’s be honest about this moms, dads still pick their noses! We have our hands full!

In the middle of July my babies have big snotty noses. I could blame allergies, but I really think it came from the YMCA. So today my 20 month old, who I am going to call Turkey 2, had a sneezing fit and the snot poured out of her nose like water gushing over Niagara Falls. She simply walked over to by brown microfiber couch and wiped her nose from one side of the cushion to the other. “NOOO, Turkey 2,” I begged from the kitchen. However, it was too late. The smear was there and made me want to gag. I give up! I am pretty sure that if you used a black light on my couch that it would glow like fireworks on the fourth of July.

Parents let’s be honest our homes, cars, and clothes are covered with body fluids that belong to our children. You know that you have been in a store when your child has sneezed and you did not have a tissue. You know you have pulled up your shirt and whipped that nose. You know you have gotten a shirt from the closet only to find that it has some dried boogers on it. You know that you have used anything you can get your hands on as a tissue. Such things as socks, kitchen towels, and your husband’s shirt that he took off and threw on the floor are all fair game when it comes to a snot emergency.

The struggle is real moms. Do not try to hide it. Do not act prideful. You know that you and your house are covered in snot just like mine during cold season. I just did not expect cold season to last year round.

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