Most high school kids get their first car and they are in awe at their independence. They fantasize about driving around on their own, going out with friends, and most importantly…not riding the school bus every day.
My first car was just that, a way to not be on the school bus. I hated the car from day one. It was ugly, very distinguishable, and did not have any frills. However, it meant independence and that was all that mattered. I was able to drive myself to practice, school, to Walmart, and to my boyfriend’s house. Yep, it was pretty awesome.
One day after school, I was standing by a building getting ready to walk to my car in the student parking lot when I noticed a group of girls standing near my car and laughing. They pointed at my car, at me, and were making fun of my car. These were “mean girls.” Yes, these girls did not like me from day one and loved to make fun of me. I was not their only victim. They loved to bully anyone who was not in their group of friends. Not only did they tease me about my car but they gave me looks as I passed them in the hallway, laughed in class when I had to speak in front of everyone, and were just all around horrible people. I was their major target for years because one of them had a crush on my boyfriend at the same time that my boyfriend started crushing on me. This boyfriend of mine is now my husband.
I stood up to one of these girls one time at a car wash. As we were having it out, a popular jock was washing his car and saw what was happening. I went to school the next day and everyone heard what I had done. I was the “big girl on campus” and the bullying seemed to stop. I still despise these girls and for years now I ignore their friend requests on Facebook. Childish I know…but I just cannot help myself.
So, all of that was said to ask: Do mean girls just grow up to be mean moms? Not mean to their children, but do they continue to bully other women their age?
I think YES and here is why…
I recently have started doing more things with my little ladies outside of the house. We have joined gymnastics, we go to story time, and go on adventures. Mean moms, I have noticed, are everywhere.
The gymnastics gym is the worst. These women stand together in a circle or sit and judge what another mom is wearing to gymnastics with their child. They are watching other children to see if their child can do the same skills. I have also noticed mom’s making their girls do “tricks” in front of other moms and kids to show off what they can do. This is my first experience with gymnastics and I already feel like I am on an episode of dance moms. How can a mommy and me class be so competitive? The mothers who are not “mean moms” are watching their children attempt to do a flip-flop and are joyfully playing with their child. They are there to have fun with their child and hope that along the way that they learn something fun.
Story time mean moms make me laugh. They push their children to the front of the line and make their child sit on the carpet while they huddle in the back. They comment on the different princess dresses the girls are wearing. If another child dares to cry or call out they roll their eyes like it is the end of the world. I am the mom who sits on the floor in the back with her girls and sings the songs. Turkey 2 is usually crawling all over me and yelling out the name of the princess with excitement. We show up with their dresses on, their hair fixed, and somewhat covered with morning breakfast. I have on jeans and a tee with flip-flops. The mean moms wear very tight workout clothes. Where I live, moms love to prance around in very tight exercise pants, sports bras, and sleeveless tops. They scream, “I work out five times a week and I have a tight bod.” My attire says, “I was dragged out of bed by my toddlers, I brushed my teeth, put my hair in a ponytail, and put on my cleanest dirty clothes off the floor.”
Who has time to get yourself ready when you have two princesses to get dressed?
It is the mean girls who grow up to be mean moms. They are the ones who write blogs that mom shame other moms. They call out moms who still have baby weight to lose, who do not join every committee possible, and do not feed their kids gluten-free/dairy free/taste free food. They only invite kids to birthday parties based on social status and they would not dare be caught shopping at Wal-Mart. It is a shame that in our world this still exists. When I was a teacher I saw it happen every day. As a parent, I am appalled. I refuse to be a mean mom. I refuse to become part of this culture. I understand that most moms live in survival mode 99% of the time. We do the best we can do and we should help one another, not judge!
Okay…I will get off my soap box now and get back to laundry so I can wear clean clothes to story time next week.