The house needs cleaned again, do I play with my kids enough, what is for dinner, will this IVF cycle work, I need to lose weight, how can I be happy again, what is bothering my husband, I really need to get out there and run again, is there a better way to eat while doing IVF, should I exercise, will this period ever start, why does Turkey One yell all the time, why are the kids fighting so much, am I a good mom…and the list goes on.
I find lately that I am so wrapped up in questions and emotions that I am not taking the time to enjoy life. I am going through a cycle were I hate the way I look, the way I feel, the way I act, and just plainly who I am.
I just want to be one of those happy, bouncy women who seem to have to all together. They can have happy, joyful conversations with people and laugh and be happy.
Is it IVF that is doing this to me? Is it the extra 10 pounds that I am carrying around that I HATE every time I look at myself?
I am not sure what it is, but I have been in this downward spiral for months and I need to get out! It effects my relationship with my husband, my kids, and with myself.