BETA Day

I feel as if I have an elephant on my chest. It is hard to breathe. It is hard to focus on anything but tomorrow. It is hard to not eat everything that is in this house.

My heart is racing, my hands are shaking, and I am trying my best to slow my breathing.

Tomorrow, I will find out if this IVF cycle has worked or not. I will find out if I am pregnant or if I will again be broken into a million pieces.

My outlook has been different this time. Instead of preparing how to tell people of the negative news, I have daydreamed of sharing positive news with my family. I have thought how I am going to surprise my husband at work with the good news.

I had a dream I was pregnant with triplets. (We transferred three embryos this time.)

I want this so bad that I cannot stand it. I have baby fever more than I have in a long time.

Anytime that I felt anything in my belly I wondered it if could be implantation, or my uterus getting ready to support three babies. I hoped it was not just gas or GI related.

I have prayed and shed a few tears…

One thing that I have not done is take a pregnancy test. This is the first cycle that I ever remember not taking a test. I promised my husband that I would not. Last cycle, I tested early and spent a week crying. I am not sure how I did it other than stay busy.  The weather has been nice so, I was outside a lot and just tried to be busy.

I read the post of the IVF Support Facebook page today and so many people were getting positives. I even found an IVF support for Pregnancy page. This made my heart happy to see so many people have success.

I will close in this…Please, Please, Please God let this have worked. Please let me be pregnant!

 

 

 

 

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